Navigating Hostility with Grace: Lessons from Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Interview Experience
Episode Title:
Episode Audio Link: https://podcast.ablackexec.com/episode/navigating-hostility-with-grace-lessons-from-ta-nehisi-coates-interview-experience
Episode Video Link:
In this episode of 'Need to Know,' Dr. Nsenga Burton discusses the importance of business etiquette and responses to microaggressions in the workplace. Using an interview with Ta-Nehisi Coates as a case study, Dr. Burton highlights how to handle hostile situations thoughtfully and respectfully, promoting a healthy and effective work environment. Join us for insights on intersectionality, identity, and maintaining professionalism amidst adversity.
▶︎ In This Episode
00:00 Introduction to Need to Know with Dr. Nsenga Burton
00:16 Business Etiquette and Ta-Nehisi Coates Interview
01:29 Cultural Etiquette and Respect
02:28 Coates' Response and Workplace Dynamics
03:51 Handling Hostility in the Workplace
06:07 Maintaining Professionalism and Respect
09:49 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
🔗 Resources
Links and resources mentioned in this episode:
🔔 Listen and Subscribe
Listen to this episode and subscribe for future updates
subscribe to A Black Executive Perspective podcast on
- YouTube Podcasts
- Apple Podcasts
- Spotify Podcasts
- Amazon Music
- Other platforms or by searching "TonyTidbit"
if you like what we're doing and would like to support us, here's some ways you can help us continue the uncomfortable conversations that drive change
- subscribe to our newsletter
- give us up to a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts
- share an episode with a friend, family member or colleague
🗣️ Follow @ablackexec
follow us across social media @aBlackExec
⭐️ Follow @TonyTidbit
follow Tony across social media @TonyTidbit
This episode was produced by TonyTidbit ™ . Copyright © 2024 A BLACK EXECUTIVE PERSPECTIVE LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this podcast may be reproduced without prior written permission. For permissions, email podcast@ablackexec.com .
Transcript
A Black Executive Perspective now presents Need to Know
2
:with the award winning hyphenated Dr.
3
:Nsenga Burton.
4
:Dr.
5
:Burton.
6
:What do we need to know?
7
:Dr. Nsenga Burton: Good afternoon
and welcome to need to know with Dr.
8
:Nsenga Burton.
9
:I am Dr.
10
:Nsenga Burton and today I am talking
to you about Etiquette but business
11
:etiquette and When I burning down the
house, your own house is not a good idea.
12
:So previously we talked about an interview
between, uh, Ta-Nehisi Coates, who's
13
:a brilliant, uh, person, philosopher.
14
:I call him a philosopher, but he's
a brilliant writer, journalist,
15
:uh, thinker, critical thinker.
16
:And he's written a book called the message
and he's been making the rounds and
17
:doing lots of interviews about the book.
18
:Um, one of which was an interview on CBS,
uh, CBS this morning, um, in which he was.
19
:I would say mistreated by a journalist
who was asking him questions
20
:about the book to such an extent.
21
:We never learned about
the entirety of the book.
22
:What else was in a book?
23
:Um, why?
24
:You know, we might be
interested in the book or not.
25
:Um, and so it really took away from
the way that he was, uh, you know,
26
:Interviewed and the way they only focused
on such a, you know, just 1 part of
27
:the book, um, really took away from
the audience or the viewers learning
28
:more about what was in the book,
uh, that might have spoken to them.
29
:Right?
30
:So I say that to say, what.
31
:We've talked about that side, about
treating people well, when you invite
32
:them to your house, you don't treat
people, you don't invite, invite people
33
:to your house and then mistreat them.
34
:You don't invite people, um,
to your house and bully them.
35
:Uh, you don't invite people to
your house and belabor a point.
36
:Uh, and I said culturally in the
previous interview that black and
37
:brown people don't do that anyway.
38
:We don't invite people that
we don't like to our house.
39
:We don't want that static.
40
:You know, if you're not a family member,
and then it only if your family member
41
:is only to a certain extent, you know,
at some point, you're going to get
42
:off get left off the invitation list.
43
:You know, if you keep
if you keep doing it.
44
:So, even culturally,
that's not what we do.
45
:We're not going to invite it to the house.
46
:If you get to come into the house,
that means somebody really likes you.
47
:That means that someone really trust
you and that means that someone
48
:thinks a whole lot of you if they
bring you into your home into
49
:their home and around their family.
50
:So there you go there, but the
point of it is, I want to look
51
:at the other side of that.
52
:And that was Coates
response, which was amazing.
53
:He never lost his cool.
54
:He never raised his voice.
55
:He never lost his point
and he never conceded.
56
:To
57
:a perspective or point of view with
which he did not agree, you know, his
58
:position is, and this is about the
Middle East, and you can read the book
59
:and you can discuss it or whatever,
but he doesn't agree with any entity
60
:having an apartheid state period.
61
:Doesn't matter if it's Palestine, doesn't
matter if it's Israel, doesn't matter
62
:if it's the United States, you know, and
he says in this interview that he was
63
:raised by parents who grew up in Jim Crow.
64
:So he's not, he's against
any type of apartheid.
65
:That exists anywhere in the world.
66
:And so when he sees it, he has to not only
document it, but speak out against it.
67
:All right.
68
:And, um, you know, whether or not
you agree with that point, the point
69
:is, is that even though, uh, the
interviewer, the journalist was really
70
:stuck on whether on Israel's right to.
71
:Exists because that was the
question he wanted him to answer.
72
:Um, and, you know,
Ta-Nehisi he's very smart.
73
:So he's like, well, you know, it's a
complicated question because you got
74
:to think about these answers, right?
75
:You got to think about these perspectives.
76
:The point I wanted to raise
was how he responded to that.
77
:And this is something that happens to,
um, black and brown people, I would
78
:say, in the workplace constantly.
79
:Um, but it's this idea that you have
to agree with me about a number of
80
:things and I'm not trying to, um,
pretend like, you know, the, uh.
81
:I mean, like, thousands of
years long attacks on Jews.
82
:I mean, I was like, well,
you can't say decades.
83
:You can't say hundreds of years,
centuries long attack on Jews equates
84
:to anything that I'm about to say.
85
:So, it's not the same thing.
86
:I understand that.
87
:But what I am saying is that.
88
:Even when you have unpopular opinions
about things in the workplace, you
89
:have to know how to present them, but
you also have to know how to sometimes
90
:respond to people who might be hostile
towards you because those opinions
91
:are unpopular and they're rooted
in your identity as a black person.
92
:So what I want us to think about is
how this absolutely can happen in
93
:the workplace in terms of being met
with hostility when your views Don't
94
:align necessarily with those who
are empowered in your organization
95
:based on your personal identity
and the experiences of your people.
96
:Right?
97
:If you're a black person, whose
parents were raised in Jim Crow
98
:and whose parents parents may have
been raised in slavery or not.
99
:You know, if you're someone who's
from the Caribbean, whose family
100
:was part of a servant class.
101
:Right and what's made to do certain things
or experience slavery because we know that
102
:was all in the Caribbean and South America
and all the places you just might have
103
:a different perspective on these issues.
104
:But all of that feeds into who we
are, and then when we come into the
105
:workplace, and particularly when
you're working in spaces, my area
106
:of expertise is intersectionality,
race, class, gender and sexuality.
107
:So I'm always doing what
I call the heavy lifting.
108
:Always doing the heavy lifting.
109
:Um, and so, you know,
other people do fun stuff.
110
:I don't necessarily get
to do the fun stuff.
111
:So I'm always having to defend my
position, defend, you know, that
112
:even, you know, racism exists.
113
:So, or sexism exists, or there's an
anti trans movement and it's violent
114
:and we need to do something about it.
115
:I always have to defend
that kind of stuff.
116
:But I think what we can learn from
this interview and for with people
117
:who've had long careers, like tiny,
easy coats, or I would argue mine.
118
:And doing this work is the ability
to not burn down the house while
119
:you are defending yourself, right?
120
:The, the ability to, um, respond to,
I would say, a very at best a very
121
:energetic inquiry into a part of a piece
of content that you did not agree with.
122
:Um, but the ability to respond
to, um, these kinds of.
123
:Which can often be read as.
124
:Micro aggressions, or I just call them
aggression aggressions that you receive
125
:in the workplace from people whose
opinions don't align with yours because
126
:they may not have the same experience.
127
:Most of the time.
128
:They're just not exposed to
what you have been exposed to.
129
:They don't read a lot about what we've
experienced in the school systems.
130
:Um, you know, whether you're talking
about secondary schools, or you're
131
:talking about college or master's
programs, like, you really have to take
132
:a specific class to learn about these
things that people are so bothered by.
133
:But, you know, there are lots of reasons
why that happens, but you can't let people
134
:stop you from doing what you have been
tasked to do and you can't let people
135
:get you to a place where you were your.
136
:Um, lifestyle is now in jeopardy, right?
137
:Where you now can't pay your bills
where you now can't sell your books.
138
:They won't carry your book,
you know, all those things.
139
:Um, and it's not fair.
140
:Let me just say that 110 percent
because we have to put up with so
141
:much hostility in the workplace.
142
:Um, even when we create our own work,
you know, whether it's books, articles,
143
:um, things of that nature, um, you know,
People think that we are always fair game.
144
:What we write is always fair game
and they are quite comfortable with
145
:throwing us into categories, typically
stereotypical categories that have
146
:no value for us, but have lots of
value for them and continuously
147
:disenfranchising us in a myriad of ways.
148
:So, I say that to say, you
can look at this interview
149
:because it's making the rounds.
150
:I'm sure you've seen it.
151
:And if you haven't, you will
see it of Mr Coates response.
152
:Right?
153
:He knows the book, the work.
154
:He wrote it.
155
:He understands.
156
:This is an unpopular and he never gave
his opinion during the time period.
157
:He wasn't really allowed to really delve
into it, but he did give an opinion
158
:about his, his views on apartheid.
159
:Um, but.
160
:You know, the whole time he was
respectful, you know, he was giving
161
:the respect that he should have
been getting from the journalist.
162
:Um, he was giving the, um, thoughtfulness
he should have been given, given
163
:or granted from the journalist.
164
:And, you know, that's what should
be happening in the workplace.
165
:You know, you should be respectful and
thoughtful, even when you disagree.
166
:And when that goes away, and I've actually
learned this in a number of workspaces.
167
:It damages the workplace.
168
:It makes it hard to continue
to work in the workplace.
169
:And unless you make a very concerted
effort to fix things, you know,
170
:typically you can't rebound from it.
171
:And it makes, you know, the house no
longer a happy home to quote the greatest
172
:philosopher of all times Luther Vandross.
173
:So,
174
:I just wanted to say that, um, on
the flip side of treating people.
175
:Well, when you invite them
into your home, your workplace.
176
:Um, you know, when you invite
people there, you should treat them.
177
:Well, but conversely, if you are not
treated well, which is something that
178
:we are often we being people of color,
historically disenfranchised populations.
179
:I'm a black person.
180
:I'm also a woman.
181
:Um, you know, when
you're not treated well.
182
:Being able to respond in a way that
is thoughtful and reflective and that
183
:allows you to maintain your lifestyle
and maintain your space in the workplace.
184
:If you so choose to do so,
you know, but, you know.
185
:Without being a conspiracy sister, you
know, some folks are always waiting for
186
:you to blow up into to ruin your life,
uh, based on something they said to you.
187
:Um, and so there is a skill that is being
able to withstand that type of aggression
188
:that comes to it, whether it's micro.
189
:macro or aggressive, aggressive,
or passive aggressiveness that
190
:comes through in the workplace.
191
:There is a skill set to
being able to survive that.
192
:And we have it.
193
:So lean on it and don't let people
disenfranchise you, um, in a different
194
:way because they disagree with
you or not aligned with which you,
195
:uh, uh, the conclusions you ever
have come to based on, uh, their
196
:unwillingness, um, to understand
or to think about your perspective.
197
:So.
198
:I wish you a fantastic day and please
tune in next week to another episode of
199
:a Black Executive Perspective podcast.
200
:A Black Executive Perspective.