Climbing the Corporate Ladder with a Baby on Your Hip

Tony Tidbit: 00:00:00

Correct.

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: 00:00:00

Yeah.

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I mean, were they supportive all the

way and then this was just on you?

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Or was it when you said, Hey,

I got a doctor's appointment,

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I gotta take my kids.

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Did they all again, and I may,

may, may have said that, but

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the feeling came across right.

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Nobody ever said it, Tony.

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Lauren Burke: But I just, now that

you asked that, I just have memories.

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Being at the doctor with people from

work calling me, asking me for stuff.

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And where I have, I'm a very good

communicator in that I, if I have

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something to do, I'll tell you

where I am and when I'm gonna be

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there, and I'll put a plan together.

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Right.

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I'll call you after or whatever.

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But no, they were still

calling me nonstop.

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Ask me for stuff.

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Where's this, where's that?

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And that, that was hard for me

'cause I don't, I don't innately

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don't like to disappoint people.

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Right.

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We'll

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Tony Tidbit: discuss race and how it

plays a factor and how we didn't even talk

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: 00:00:44

about this topic because we were afraid.

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BEP Narrator: A Black Executive

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: 00:00:50

perspective.

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Tony Tidbit: Ooh, we're coming to you

live from the new BEP studio for another

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: 00:00:54

thought provoking episode of A Black

Executive Perspective Podcast of safe

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space where we discuss all matters

related to race, culture, and those

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: 00:01:04

uncomfortable topics people tend to avoid.

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I'm your host, Tony Tidbit.

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So very excited to share

this episode with you today.

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: 00:01:13

But before we get started, first I wanna

remind everyone to make sure you check

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: 00:01:17

out our partners at Code M Magazine,

whose mission is to save the black

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: 00:01:21

family by first saving the black man.

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: 00:01:25

So definitely check them

out @codemmagazine.com.

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: 00:01:29

That is Code M Magazine.

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: 00:01:31

Dot com.

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: 00:01:33

So today we sit down with Lauren Burke,

marketing leader, entrepreneur and

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modern executive mother to explore

the intersections of career growth,

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major transitions, and the reality

of raising a multicultural family

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while building a thriving business.

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Lauren will share her unique

journey growing up in a white

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and Latino household as a.

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First generation college graduate,

navigating the corporate world

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and how motherhood shaped her

career aspirations and leadership.

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Approach.

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Let me tell you a little bit

about my friend Lauren Burke.

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Lauren Burke has built a dynamic

career in the advertising tech and

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digital media industry holding key

leadership roads across both emerging

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startups and global enterprises.

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Now the founder, CEO and fractional

CMO of LJS Advisory, she leads

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a strategic marketing agency.

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Dedicated to driving growth for ambitious

businesses through innovative and

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results driven marketing solutions.

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In addition to her agency, Lauren

has created the Marketing Spice, a

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Thought Provoking Block platform where

she sells its shares, insights on

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industry trends, leadership, and life.

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Passionate about celebrating and

elevating voices in the industry.

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Lauren has recently launched the

Female Founder series during,

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during Women's History Month,

spotlighting the Journey and lessons

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of powerful women like herself, uh,

entrepreneurs who are redefining

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success in marketing and business.

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Lauren Burke, my friend, my sister.

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Welcome to A Black Executive

Perspective Podcast.

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Lauren Burke: Hi Tony, so

happy to be here with you,

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Tony Tidbit: my girl.

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We're happy to be here.

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Especially, you know, obviously you're

taking time from your busy family

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and all the multiple roles that you

have going on, so we appreciate you

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investing the time with us today to

talk about this very important topic.

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But before we get started, tell

us a little bit about where

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you're currently residing and

a little bit about your family.

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Lauren Burke: I currently reside

in Fairfield, Connecticut, not far

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from where we're sitting right now.

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In the studio.

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I live with my husband John, um, who is

from Ireland originally, and my two sons,

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Liam and James, who are nine and five.

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Tony Tidbit: Wow.

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Wow.

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So tell me a little bit, how is

that in terms of two boys, four

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years apart and a husband and

you're the only female in the house?

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Lauren Burke: Boy mom life is, uh,

it's an interesting life, right?

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Um, they're crazy, they're fun.

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Um, things are, are always chaos, but in

the best of ways at our house, for sure.

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Tony Tidbit: Well, when you say

chaos, like give us an example.

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I.

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Lauren Burke: So my boys love each other.

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They hate each other, they beat on

each other, they snuggle each other.

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It's just like a rollercoaster

with these two boys.

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Tony Tidbit: No.

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So that is a little chaos.

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Yeah.

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So I can definitely empathize.

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Yeah.

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So listen my friend, um, you know, like

we, I stated earlier in your bio and all

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the things you're doing, you're very busy.

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You have a lot of stuff going on.

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Why did you want to come on

BEP to talk about this topic?

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Lauren Burke: So I share with you

this funny story before we dive in is.

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I think any working mom can relate

to is I'm packing my bag, you know,

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getting ready to go to the studio.

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I'm excited, I've, you know, prepared.

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I'm putting my laptop in my bag

and I hear this crunch like, oh

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God, what, what is it this time?

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So I look at the bottom of my bag

and there's probably a thousand

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Cheerios just crunching at the

bottom of the bag, and I'm like.

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Sorry, Tony, like, I'm gonna

be late because this is one

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of those parenting moments you

can't, you can't really plan for.

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Um, that being said though, so the reason

I'm really here is because, you know,

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as a mother and as a business person,

these are two really important roles.

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Um, on one hand, I.

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You are building the next

generation of people on this planet.

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On the other hand, as a business person,

you're really influencing the economy.

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You're influencing culture.

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Um, so these are roles

that I don't take lightly.

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Um, and I, and I really, you know, want

to discuss, um, because I think there

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are challenges that come with both.

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And just like anything, you

know, race, culture, the more

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you talk about these things, um,

the better off everybody will be.

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And I think it's important, you know, you

and I, Tony, like, yes, I'm, I'm a mother.

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You know, you are a father.

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It's really about not just

motherhood, but parenthood, right?

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We all have our own unique struggles,

um, in this game, being a working parent.

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So I think the more we can

kind of come together as men,

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women, people, the better.

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Tony Tidbit: That's awesome

and I totally agree with, well

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listen, you ready to go at it?

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Lauren Burke: Yeah, let's do it.

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Tony Tidbit: All right.

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Let's talk about it.

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So one of the things, and you just said

a lot there, which we'll definitely dive

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into, but you know, one of the things,

you grew up in a multicultural family.

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Um, talk a little bit about that

and how it shaped your life.

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Lauren Burke: Sure.

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So my mother was born in Cuba.

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Uh, she moved to the US as a teenager.

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Um, my father, um, you know, American,

but he had a very kind of heavily Italian

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and French influence in his house.

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And my stepfather, um, who was in

my life, you know, from a very young

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age was actually from Argentina.

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Um, so I had a very like

melting pot kind of household.

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Um, I would spend weeks in

Miami with my Cuban family

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eating Croquetas on the beach.

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And then on Sundays we'd all

sit in my grandma's tiny living

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room floor, eating lasagna.

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Like it was really kind

of all over the place.

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Um.

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But, but yeah.

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You know, having a mother, uh, that,

you know, came to this country at

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a young age, they lost everything.

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They were pharmacists in Cuba.

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They had all that taken away with when

communism, um, you know, came to be.

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So, you know, obviously I wasn't there

to witness her teenage years, but, you

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know, from what I hear, from what I see,

she, you know, she learned the language.

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She got a job at a bank,

then at an insurance company.

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And she had a really successful 40

year career at that one company.

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Um, so I always, you know, really

respected that and admired that about her.

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That sort of, you know, rags to riches,

not riches, but you know, she, she

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builds something of herself, right?

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Um, so I think I, you know, really

absorbed a lot of her sort of behaviors

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and tendencies from a young age.

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Tony Tidbit: So.

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You, you have siblings at all?

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Nope.

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Lauren Burke: I'm an only child.

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So you're only child.

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Yep.

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Tony Tidbit: So, you know, growing up in

that, in, in that type of environment,

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um, was your mother the breadwinner or,

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Lauren Burke: uh, no, it was pretty 50 50.

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Her and my stepfather, you know,

he also had a long, you know,

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career at the same company as well.

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Um, and, you know, my dad

was also involved, but.

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I think with my mother it was,

I have to work hard, you know,

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or else I lose everything.

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This sort of catastrophic thinking.

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I think a lot of that because of what she

went through at a young age, there's no

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Tony Tidbit: question.

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Right?

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Yeah.

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And when you are in an environment where,

uh, there's a lot of turbulence, there's

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a lot of unknown, there's anxiety, um.

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Even if when you leave that environment,

you, that doesn't just shake it away.

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Right.

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You still are gonna be affected by that.

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Yep.

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So watching your mother

grow up, excuse me.

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As you grew up watching your mother

work her butt off, come to a country

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she had no affiliation with, right.

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She had to find a job.

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Um, she got a job and

she worked her butt off.

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Talk a little bit how that

shaped you in terms of when

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you started into the workforce.

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Lauren Burke: Yeah, so my mother really

drilled in me from a young age, you know,

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the importance of hard work and getting

a good education and I feel like she set

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a really sort of high bar for me, which.

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Um, motivated me at a, at,

at in a lot of ways, right?

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I, I always did well in school.

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I was in extracurriculars, um, you know,

and I really, I enjoyed it a lot as well.

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But, you know, on the other hand, I saw

the stress that she was constantly under.

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So she put a lot of pressure

on herself to deliver.

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Um, you know, she was stressed out all the

time thinking she was gonna get let go.

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She was hospitalized a couple

times because of stress.

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Um, and in her.

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I think late fifties, she

actually had a stroke, um mm-hmm.

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Just from, you know, sort of

the bad habits and behaviors

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that built up over the years.

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So, um, that all, you know, kind

of really, really shaped me both

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in my early age and even now.

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Tony Tidbit: So let me ask you this, you

know, one of the things in, and thanks

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for sharing that about your mother.

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Um, tell me some of the things that

you took from her as you went into.

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You know, the professional world.

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You said she worked hard.

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Talk.

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Talk a little bit about those attributes

that you applied to your career.

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Lauren Burke: Yeah, so very early

on in my career, I was hungry.

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I was ambitious.

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I was a hand raiser.

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Uh, you and I worked together.

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When I was quite young, I was

always like, Hey, what can I do?

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What can I take on?

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How can I help?

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Um, you know, I'm, I'm a little

more, we'll say adventurous

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than my mother, right.

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I'm, I was willing to take on, you know,

new challenges and new things and I worked

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hard, but I also had fun while doing it.

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And, and that was all

well and good, right?

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Like taking on more and more

being able to handle it.

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But then, you know, the other shoe

drops when you become a mother.

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And suddenly that I can do it all.

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You know, I can, I can

make everyone happy.

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Um.

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It was just not possible anymore.

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Tony Tidbit: Right.

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So just so I'm clear here what I'm

hearing, mother came here, didn't

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know nobody, she worked hard.

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She, uh, gave 150% wherever she went.

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Lauren Burke: Yep.

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Tony Tidbit: She was focused on

being the best that she could be.

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Right.

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And then what I'm hearing

is that you emulated that a

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Lauren Burke: hundred percent because

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Tony Tidbit: you saw her, you worked hard,

you raised your hand, what can I do more?

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Um, so that was your motto

of, of a work ethic, right?

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Yep.

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In terms of being successful.

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Lauren Burke: Yep.

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Tony Tidbit: Now.

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Let's talk about, 'cause

you said a couple things.

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There's always positives

and negatives, right?

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Right.

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So you said your mother was stressed out.

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She was stressed out so much that

she had to go to the hospital.

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She eventually had a stroke.

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Did you take, outside of the stroke?

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Yeah.

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Did you incorporate some of that stress

and stuff to that nature as well?

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Lauren Burke: I, I think I did.

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I mean.

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But again, it didn't, I didn't think

anything of it because it was manageable.

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Do you know what I mean?

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Like, I could still go out and have fun,

even though, yeah, maybe I was a little

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bit stressed about work or school or

what have you, you know what I mean?

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Um, but like I.

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You become a mom and suddenly your

responsibilities quadruple if not more.

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Right?

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Exactly.

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So the, I'm gonna do more at work

and I'm gonna be an amazing wife and

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an amazing mother and a provider.

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'cause I want my kids to

have a beautiful life.

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Like that all becomes like

a very heavy load to carry.

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: 00:12:31

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: 00:12:58

Tony Tidbit: There's no question.

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And that's what I wanted to get to.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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Because you know, one of the things,

you know, you know my wife Gail.

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Lauren Burke: Yeah.

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Tony Tidbit: You know, I didn't even

think of that until one day, you know,

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and look, I worked hard, went out.

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I looked at myself as the

provider and this and that, but

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she also worked as well, right?

291

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Yeah.

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And then when we had our daughters, I

never forget this, is that we, we would

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go on a trip and you know, I would pack.

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And, um, she's packing and stuff

and I'm like, what's taking so long?

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Why are you taking so long to pack?

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And she looked at me and said, all you do

is all you gotta do is pack for yourself.

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Lauren Burke: Right.

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Tony Tidbit: I gotta pack

for me and the girls.

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Totally.

300

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And that was a, I, that was a wake

up call for me because I, I all of a

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sudden, 'cause I didn't even notice it.

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Lauren Burke: Right.

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Tony Tidbit: Right.

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I didn't even notice the burden that,

or the, the, the stress or the, the

305

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heavy lift that she was carrying.

306

: 00:13:56

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

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: 00:13:56

Tony Tidbit: I was just seeing that.

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: 00:13:57

I thought I was, you know, carrying a lot.

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: 00:13:59

Right, right.

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: 00:14:00

I thought that I was, you know, you know,

being the, uh, uh, um, the breadwinner.

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Yeah.

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And then, but she's not only going

out and, uh, with a career going

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out and, and, and participating

or, you know, striving in a career.

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: 00:14:13

Yeah.

315

: 00:14:14

She's a mother, she's a wife and

she's doing all these other things.

316

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So it just opened my eyes in

terms of what women deal with.

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Lauren Burke: Yeah.

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Tony Tidbit: Um, when

they're in the workforce.

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Totally.

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That a lot of men, unfortunately,

I, I hate to say it, I know

321

: 00:14:29

things are changing, but a

lot of men are oblivious to.

322

: 00:14:32

Why don't you speak to that a little bit.

323

: 00:14:33

Yeah.

324

: 00:14:33

Lauren Burke: And you know, I, I think.

325

: 00:14:35

Women are wired a certain way.

326

: 00:14:37

Mo you know, most of us, right?

327

: 00:14:39

Like we're, you know, we,

we carried this child.

328

: 00:14:42

We want to see them do well.

329

: 00:14:44

I want my, my children to

have a better life than I did.

330

: 00:14:47

Right.

331

: 00:14:47

And I'm sure you do as a dad too, right?

332

: 00:14:49

But I just feel this like, you know,

responsibility to, to do everything

333

: 00:14:54

for them, be everything for them,

which does have a healthy all the time.

334

: 00:14:57

Probably not either, you know what I mean?

335

: 00:14:58

But whereas my husband, yes,

he's a great dad, great husband,

336

: 00:15:01

great provider too, but.

337

: 00:15:03

You know, he's just not thinking about

every possible eventuality for our kids.

338

: 00:15:07

Um, you know, if I go on a business trip.

339

: 00:15:10

I'm thinking about what, what's the

family going to eat while I'm away?

340

: 00:15:13

Right.

341

: 00:15:14

So, you know, maybe I'm making a,

a couple meals in advance so he

342

: 00:15:17

doesn't have to worry about it.

343

: 00:15:18

Um, but that's a decision I made.

344

: 00:15:20

Right.

345

: 00:15:20

Um, so I think it, you know, it's good

that, that Gail brought that to you and

346

: 00:15:25

said, Hey, you know, I'm, I'm packing for

my, for the girls, I'm packing for three.

347

: 00:15:29

So I think it's important for us

women to, to kind of vocalize the

348

: 00:15:33

extra burden that we have, right?

349

: 00:15:35

Tony Tidbit: There's no question.

350

: 00:15:36

Right?

351

: 00:15:36

Yeah.

352

: 00:15:36

And here's the thing.

353

: 00:15:37

There's a lot of women that do that.

354

: 00:15:39

And, and it's an, you know,

it's innate, you know?

355

: 00:15:44

Yeah.

356

: 00:15:44

They're, you.

357

: 00:15:45

The, you know, I learned this a long

time ago when I first got married.

358

: 00:15:48

Uh, I think pastor of my church

told me this and he said, look,

359

: 00:15:51

you know, now you're married,

you gonna be, you come last I.

360

: 00:15:55

Okay.

361

: 00:15:55

Yeah.

362

: 00:15:56

So now it's gonna be all

about the kids for her.

363

: 00:15:58

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

364

: 00:15:58

Right.

365

: 00:15:58

And then I

366

: 00:15:59

Tony Tidbit: remember I

was like, oh no big deal.

367

: 00:16:01

Yeah, I get it.

368

: 00:16:01

Yeah, sure.

369

: 00:16:02

But then there was times I was like,

you, you don't care about about me.

370

: 00:16:05

You forgot about me.

371

: 00:16:06

Alright.

372

: 00:16:06

Yeah.

373

: 00:16:06

And so think about that.

374

: 00:16:08

Um, the woman, my wife, not only ha

had to take care of two kids, but she's

375

: 00:16:14

taking, she's worried about my feelings

too, because sometimes I feel neglected.

376

: 00:16:18

Okay.

377

: 00:16:18

Yeah.

378

: 00:16:19

Um, but I wanna go to one

thing though, here too, right.

379

: 00:16:22

I get it.

380

: 00:16:23

Most women feel that way.

381

: 00:16:24

Yeah.

382

: 00:16:24

Most women are that way.

383

: 00:16:26

Like I said a minute ago, it's innate.

384

: 00:16:28

Um, you know, once you, you're

carrying a baby in your body.

385

: 00:16:31

Right?

386

: 00:16:32

Right.

387

: 00:16:32

So you are going to be, um,

more emotionally connected.

388

: 00:16:36

That makes total sense.

389

: 00:16:38

Lauren Burke: Right.

390

: 00:16:39

Tony Tidbit: Where we need

to do a better job at.

391

: 00:16:41

Which is the next question

I want to ask you.

392

: 00:16:44

Tell me about when you

were in corporate America.

393

: 00:16:48

And you had a pivotal role.

394

: 00:16:49

Lauren Burke: Sure.

395

: 00:16:50

Tony Tidbit: And you had your children

and a project came up, or travel

396

: 00:16:55

came up and all these type things.

397

: 00:16:57

Talk a little bit about that and talk

a little bit about how the company saw

398

: 00:17:02

that supported you or didn't support you.

399

: 00:17:04

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

400

: 00:17:04

So, you know, first of all, I feel like in

my early years of motherhood, I sort of.

401

: 00:17:09

Overcompensated in a lot of ways

and work extra hard to sort of

402

: 00:17:13

show that, yeah, I can be a great

mom and be a great employee.

403

: 00:17:16

You're, you know, you're not losing

any of me because I'm a mom, right?

404

: 00:17:19

So, you know, that actually

caused me like complete burnout.

405

: 00:17:24

I handed in my notice at a company

'cause I couldn't do it anymore,

406

: 00:17:27

um, to which they kind of offered

me a promotion and a raise.

407

: 00:17:30

And I was like, okay, you know what?

408

: 00:17:31

With this extra money, I'll

get extra help, you know, with

409

: 00:17:34

the kids and it'll be better.

410

: 00:17:36

But I didn't realize at the time

you've gotta do the inner work, right?

411

: 00:17:39

Like you've gotta change some of the

behaviors that you've developed over the

412

: 00:17:43

years, um, to be in the right mindset,

to be able to sort of compartmentalize

413

: 00:17:48

better between work and home.

414

: 00:17:50

So I feel like that was early days.

415

: 00:17:52

I definitely lost myself in

those early days of motherhood.

416

: 00:17:54

Um, and that was a theme that continued

with me throughout my corporate career.

417

: 00:17:59

I would change jobs, change companies,

hoping it would be different,

418

: 00:18:03

but it wasn't the company at the

end of the day, like it was me.

419

: 00:18:06

Yes.

420

: 00:18:07

Maybe it was the company in certain ways.

421

: 00:18:08

Right.

422

: 00:18:08

So when you

423

: 00:18:08

Tony Tidbit: say it was

you, like, what do you mean

424

: 00:18:10

Lauren Burke: in that?

425

: 00:18:11

You know, I still felt that like

extreme need to kind of prove

426

: 00:18:14

myself and work extra, extra hard.

427

: 00:18:17

You mean at the company?

428

: 00:18:18

Tony Tidbit: At

429

: 00:18:18

Lauren Burke: whatever company I was at.

430

: 00:18:19

Right?

431

: 00:18:19

Okay.

432

: 00:18:19

Yeah.

433

: 00:18:19

Yeah.

434

: 00:18:20

Um, and then still working

extra hard as a mom.

435

: 00:18:23

Right.

436

: 00:18:23

So.

437

: 00:18:25

You know, which leads me to one of

my, you know, more recent experiences

438

: 00:18:28

that you mentioned was, uh, we had

planned a trip to Disneyland with

439

: 00:18:33

the boys like nine months in advance.

440

: 00:18:36

Um, and, you know, finally it came,

came time to, to take the trip and

441

: 00:18:40

I had this kind of unplanned project

that was a really big project.

442

: 00:18:44

Um, and I was so worried about it.

443

: 00:18:46

I was like.

444

: 00:18:47

You know, I'm either letting my company

down or I'm letting my kids down.

445

: 00:18:50

And that, I hate to say it was

hard, it was a hard decision.

446

: 00:18:53

'cause I don't wanna let

anybody down, you know?

447

: 00:18:55

Right, right.

448

: 00:18:56

Um, but at the end of the, at the

end of the day, I was like, you

449

: 00:18:59

can't tell two small boys that's

their first time to Disneyland.

450

: 00:19:02

You're not going to

Disneyland because of work.

451

: 00:19:04

What example am I setting there?

452

: 00:19:06

Right.

453

: 00:19:06

So, luckily I had, you

know, a supportive manager.

454

: 00:19:09

I put together, you know,

a plan for coverage.

455

: 00:19:12

Um, but I was still stressed out of

my mind and to me that was a major

456

: 00:19:16

turning point where I was like, I

can't keep going at this pace anymore.

457

: 00:19:21

Um, I need to make a change.

458

: 00:19:22

That, that night packing, I

thought I was gonna lose my mind.

459

: 00:19:25

Mm-hmm.

460

: 00:19:26

And what was sort of flashing in

front of my eyes was my mother, I.

461

: 00:19:29

You know, in the hospital after a stroke.

462

: 00:19:31

Tony Tidbit: Wow.

463

: 00:19:31

Wow.

464

: 00:19:32

You know, let me ask you this.

465

: 00:19:33

What was, 'cause you said something

and I don't wanna, um, bypass it.

466

: 00:19:39

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

467

: 00:19:39

Tony Tidbit: You said,

Hey, I was stressed out.

468

: 00:19:42

I was trying to be the best in both parts.

469

: 00:19:45

I resigned.

470

: 00:19:46

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

471

: 00:19:46

Tony Tidbit: Right.

472

: 00:19:47

And then they threw more money

at me and gave me a promotion.

473

: 00:19:50

Yeah.

474

: 00:19:50

And then I said, okay, I'll stay.

475

: 00:19:53

Okay.

476

: 00:19:54

So let me ask you this before

lemme ask you this first question.

477

: 00:19:58

Sure, sure.

478

: 00:19:58

Um, did whoever your manager was,

or the company, did they have

479

: 00:20:03

anything to do with you feeling

stressed out in terms of you had to.

480

: 00:20:09

You know, tried to be the best

here, and then at the same time you

481

: 00:20:12

had tried to be the best at home.

482

: 00:20:15

So, in other words

483

: 00:20:16

Lauren Burke: Sure.

484

: 00:20:17

What role did the company play in it?

485

: 00:20:18

Correct, correct.

486

: 00:20:19

Yeah.

487

: 00:20:19

I mean, were

488

: 00:20:19

Tony Tidbit: they supportive all the

way and then this was just on you?

489

: 00:20:22

Or was it when you said, Hey,

I got a doctor's appointment,

490

: 00:20:25

I gotta take my kids.

491

: 00:20:26

Did they all again, and I

may, may not have said that,

492

: 00:20:30

but the feeling came across.

493

: 00:20:32

Nobody ever said it, Tony,

494

: 00:20:33

Lauren Burke: but I just, now that you

ask that, I just have memories being

495

: 00:20:38

at the doctor with people from work

calling me, asking me for stuff, and.

496

: 00:20:42

I have, I'm a very good communicator in

that I, if I have something to do, I'll

497

: 00:20:46

tell you where I am and when I'm gonna

be there, and I'll put a plan together.

498

: 00:20:49

Right.

499

: 00:20:49

I'll call you after or whatever.

500

: 00:20:51

But no, they were still

calling me nonstop.

501

: 00:20:53

Ask me for stuff.

502

: 00:20:53

Where's this, where's that?

503

: 00:20:55

And that, that was hard for me

'cause I don't, I don't innately

504

: 00:20:57

don't like to disappoint people.

505

: 00:20:59

Right.

506

: 00:20:59

And I was constantly disappointing them.

507

: 00:21:01

Um, but did they play a role in this?

508

: 00:21:03

Absolutely.

509

: 00:21:04

If, if I've got a doctor's

appointment, don't call me.

510

: 00:21:07

Tony Tidbit: Well, so

let me, let me, okay.

511

: 00:21:09

Yeah.

512

: 00:21:09

So that's good to know.

513

: 00:21:10

Yeah.

514

: 00:21:10

Now let me ask you the next question.

515

: 00:21:11

Okay.

516

: 00:21:12

They gave you more money to stay.

517

: 00:21:14

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

518

: 00:21:14

Tony Tidbit: They gave

you a promotion, right?

519

: 00:21:16

Did their behaviors change?

520

: 00:21:18

Lauren Burke: No.

521

: 00:21:19

No.

522

: 00:21:20

Tony Tidbit: Right.

523

: 00:21:20

Yeah.

524

: 00:21:20

So when you say, I, when you say,

and I get it, it's all on me.

525

: 00:21:26

Right?

526

: 00:21:26

Right.

527

: 00:21:27

And I get to a certain

level of that, right?

528

: 00:21:29

Yeah.

529

: 00:21:29

But at the end of the day,

they were part of the stress.

530

: 00:21:33

Right?

531

: 00:21:33

It's true.

532

: 00:21:34

So even though they gave

you more money Yeah.

533

: 00:21:36

Even though they gave you promotion.

534

: 00:21:37

Yeah.

535

: 00:21:37

Their behaviors didn't change.

536

: 00:21:39

Sure.

537

: 00:21:39

So why would your behavior

of feeling stressed out?

538

: 00:21:42

That's fair.

539

: 00:21:42

I think we're all accountable

540

: 00:21:44

Lauren Burke: here in some way.

541

: 00:21:45

Right?

542

: 00:21:45

Tony Tidbit: Well, I, I'm,

I'm reason I bring it up.

543

: 00:21:48

I would've thought the same thing.

544

: 00:21:49

You know, until, yeah.

545

: 00:21:50

I had that conversation with Gail.

546

: 00:21:52

Yeah.

547

: 00:21:52

I was oblivious to Sure.

548

: 00:21:53

Yeah.

549

: 00:21:54

Right.

550

: 00:21:54

Not that I, maybe, you know, but

I was about to say, not that I'm

551

: 00:21:57

a mean guy, but she might been

thinking about You're not a mean guy.

552

: 00:21:59

She might be like, yeah, he was mean then.

553

: 00:22:01

'cause he didn't see my point of view.

554

: 00:22:02

Right.

555

: 00:22:03

Right.

556

: 00:22:03

But I, I think that a lot of

times when we're at work, um,

557

: 00:22:07

even if people do have spouses

558

: 00:22:09

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

559

: 00:22:09

Tony Tidbit: Or they do have kids.

560

: 00:22:11

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

561

: 00:22:11

Tony Tidbit: They don't think about

what their spouses, especially if

562

: 00:22:15

they work, what they go through.

563

: 00:22:17

Right.

564

: 00:22:17

And then they don't bring that

same thought process Sure.

565

: 00:22:21

To the people that they work with.

566

: 00:22:22

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

567

: 00:22:23

Right?

568

: 00:22:23

Yep.

569

: 00:22:23

And then

570

: 00:22:24

Tony Tidbit: till now, their employees,

the women feel this extra burden.

571

: 00:22:28

Sure.

572

: 00:22:29

That they gotta carry, they gotta.

573

: 00:22:31

Be, uh, uh, on call and,

and be engaged and right.

574

: 00:22:35

And all these things as

their male counterparts.

575

: 00:22:39

But at the end of the day,

they have these extra things.

576

: 00:22:41

I don't say extra, but they

got other responsibilities.

577

: 00:22:44

Right.

578

: 00:22:44

With their family.

579

: 00:22:45

Sure.

580

: 00:22:45

Right.

581

: 00:22:46

Where they're trying to

be the best in that area.

582

: 00:22:48

Yeah.

583

: 00:22:49

As well, right?

584

: 00:22:50

Yeah.

585

: 00:22:50

Yep.

586

: 00:22:50

So let me ask you this.

587

: 00:22:51

What, what, um.

588

: 00:22:53

You know, you eventually, and then

you got to a point where you said,

589

: 00:22:56

Hey, I felt that I was stressed out.

590

: 00:22:59

Yeah.

591

: 00:22:59

You know about the Disneyland trip?

592

: 00:23:01

Sure.

593

: 00:23:01

Right.

594

: 00:23:01

So what, what, and you said

that was, if I heard you right.

595

: 00:23:04

Yeah.

596

: 00:23:04

That was the last straw.

597

: 00:23:06

So what did you do from there?

598

: 00:23:08

Lauren Burke: So I knew I

needed to figure out something.

599

: 00:23:11

Right?

600

: 00:23:11

And I realized at that point, my aha

moment was, yeah, you can find a new

601

: 00:23:16

company in a new role, but you know, this

is gonna be a lot of the same, right.

602

: 00:23:20

Different color, different

flavor, but it's the same.

603

: 00:23:23

Um, so I was like.

604

: 00:23:25

Always wanted to be an entrepreneur.

605

: 00:23:28

Even as a, a child, I was

always creating things.

606

: 00:23:30

I would, um, you know, create wedding

dress designs or fashion designs.

607

: 00:23:35

Um, I, I would invent things.

608

: 00:23:37

I invented this hat with like

a built-in makeup compartment,

609

: 00:23:40

super girly, by the way.

610

: 00:23:41

And now I'm a boy mom, of course.

611

: 00:23:43

Um, but hold

612

: 00:23:43

Tony Tidbit: on.

613

: 00:23:43

No, they probably, somebody

probably, uh, made that right.

614

: 00:23:46

Somebody probably already, it

probably exists somewhere and exists.

615

: 00:23:48

Is somebody making billions?

616

: 00:23:49

Right?

617

: 00:23:49

I mean, look,

618

: 00:23:49

Lauren Burke: mine was taped together, but

s pretty cool at the time, in: 1994

619

: 00:23:54

Um, but yeah, so I was always sort

of had this kind of creative energy,

620

: 00:23:59

um, that, you know, I feel like

maybe I lost a little bit as a, as

621

: 00:24:02

a working mom 'cause that was such a

constant grind, you know what I mean?

622

: 00:24:06

Um, but before I had kids, I was always

coming up with new business ideas.

623

: 00:24:09

So that all of this being said, my

husband, you know, being the great partner

624

: 00:24:13

that he is, um, was like, maybe now is

the time that you go off on your own.

625

: 00:24:18

And I told him and myself all the

reasons why that was a terrible idea.

626

: 00:24:22

And it took me months to kind

of build myself up to the point

627

: 00:24:26

where I was like, you know what?

628

: 00:24:27

I'm doing this.

629

: 00:24:28

There's no great time to

start to go on your own.

630

: 00:24:31

Right.

631

: 00:24:31

There's, it's always going to

be a risk, but it's a risk.

632

: 00:24:33

I feel right now I have to take

633

: 00:24:36

Tony Tidbit: So now and, and,

and I'm glad you did, right?

634

: 00:24:39

Yeah.

635

: 00:24:39

Because I think that's something that

most people, especially a day, they're

636

: 00:24:42

starting to look at in terms of,

you know, having their own business

637

: 00:24:46

and, and working for themselves.

638

: 00:24:48

However, let me ask you this question.

639

: 00:24:50

Did the pressure go away?

640

: 00:24:53

Lauren Burke: Um, it didn't, it didn't.

641

: 00:24:55

So now, you know, being, uh, an

entrepreneur, working for myself,

642

: 00:24:59

I certainly feel like I have more

control, which is, is very helpful.

643

: 00:25:04

So, um, you know, I'm, I plan my

days, you know, pretty well, right?

644

: 00:25:09

So I'm able to be, you know,

the best at my job servicing

645

: 00:25:13

clients and a more present mother.

646

: 00:25:15

'cause I, I.

647

: 00:25:17

I know I held myself to unreasonable

standards, but I do think my kids

648

: 00:25:20

deserve better outta me in a lot of ways.

649

: 00:25:22

Um, and now I'm able to do that for them.

650

: 00:25:24

Tony Tidbit: So dive into

that a little bit further.

651

: 00:25:26

Yeah.

652

: 00:25:26

How do you integrate?

653

: 00:25:28

Because before you had

a hard time doing it.

654

: 00:25:31

Yeah.

655

: 00:25:31

Right?

656

: 00:25:31

Yeah.

657

: 00:25:31

Working in corporate America.

658

: 00:25:33

Yep.

659

: 00:25:33

Right.

660

: 00:25:33

Now you, and you said a little

bit, I can plan a little bit, but

661

: 00:25:36

talk about how do you integrate.

662

: 00:25:38

You know, being a motherhood as

well as now being an entrepreneur.

663

: 00:25:42

Sure.

664

: 00:25:43

Right out.

665

: 00:25:43

And I know you said, Hey look,

I can plan a little bit more.

666

: 00:25:46

Yeah.

667

: 00:25:46

But talk a little bit more about that.

668

: 00:25:47

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

669

: 00:25:47

So, I mean, planning is huge.

670

: 00:25:50

Um, you know, you can't just fly by the

seat of your pants, like in a corporate

671

: 00:25:54

job, especially not as an entrepreneur.

672

: 00:25:56

Um, now I don't have an assistant yet,

but I do have, I do have, you know, help.

673

: 00:26:00

Right.

674

: 00:26:01

Um, so I would say.

675

: 00:26:03

Get a wall sized calendar.

676

: 00:26:05

That's what I have.

677

: 00:26:05

Three month calendar has all the

kids, various kids activities.

678

: 00:26:08

It has my and my husband's

work obligations.

679

: 00:26:11

So, you know, I plan my days

down to the minute essentially.

680

: 00:26:14

Um, another thing is like, you gotta

prioritize what matters to you.

681

: 00:26:19

And that's gonna change

on a daily basis, right?

682

: 00:26:22

So, you know, if you like to cook, you

know, build time in so you can cook a

683

: 00:26:27

nice dinner for yourself and your family.

684

: 00:26:30

Now, if you don't like to cook.

685

: 00:26:32

You know, you already know you're

gonna outsource that you're

686

: 00:26:33

gonna get takeout or you're gonna

get some kind of meal service.

687

: 00:26:36

Right?

688

: 00:26:36

So prioritize what matters,

delegate the rest, whether it's

689

: 00:26:39

laundry, you know, picking your

kids up from school if, if needed.

690

: 00:26:44

Um, you know, I think all of us can

be better at delegating, but first you

691

: 00:26:48

have to realize you can't do it all.

692

: 00:26:50

Right?

693

: 00:26:50

Right.

694

: 00:26:51

Mm-hmm.

695

: 00:26:51

Right.

696

: 00:26:51

Tony Tidbit: I, and I think

one of the things you said

697

: 00:26:53

earlier, when you're at work.

698

: 00:26:57

As much as, no matter what your title is.

699

: 00:26:59

Yeah.

700

: 00:26:59

Right.

701

: 00:27:00

No matter what your role is.

702

: 00:27:03

And, and you do have a calendar.

703

: 00:27:04

Yeah.

704

: 00:27:04

And you do plan your calendar,

but when you get to work, it can

705

: 00:27:08

totally change a hundred percent.

706

: 00:27:09

Right.

707

: 00:27:09

Because you are at the beck

and call of somebody else.

708

: 00:27:12

Yeah.

709

: 00:27:12

Right?

710

: 00:27:12

Absolutely.

711

: 00:27:13

When you have your own business, right?

712

: 00:27:15

Yeah.

713

: 00:27:15

You still gotta be streamlined.

714

: 00:27:16

You still gotta be, uh, buttoned up.

715

: 00:27:19

But to, I love the word

that you said, prioritize.

716

: 00:27:22

Yeah.

717

: 00:27:22

Right.

718

: 00:27:22

You can prioritize.

719

: 00:27:24

Do you priorit, do you, so

let me ask you this question.

720

: 00:27:27

In terms of planning, do you prioritize,

um, the family first and do your

721

: 00:27:33

business around all the things that

you have to do with the family, or

722

: 00:27:37

do you prioritize the business first

and then do everything around, uh,

723

: 00:27:41

with the family around your business?

724

: 00:27:42

Lauren Burke: So it really depends,

Tony, again, on the day, like, you

725

: 00:27:46

know, I, on the days where I have

to pick up my son from school.

726

: 00:27:51

I have, I'm very straight up with my son.

727

: 00:27:52

He's five.

728

: 00:27:53

I'm like, look, when we get home

I've gotta work a little bit.

729

: 00:27:56

Right?

730

: 00:27:56

And you know, he may not love it 'cause

he is five, but I'm still sitting

731

: 00:28:00

there, right there with him, right?

732

: 00:28:01

He sees me working hard and he sees

me, you know, there providing for

733

: 00:28:05

him whether it's attention or food

or you know, what have you, right?

734

: 00:28:09

But then I do try to kind of turn

off, close the laptop and then

735

: 00:28:12

give him undivided attention.

736

: 00:28:14

Um, whereas before I'd be, you know, on

the laptop, a little bit of attention back

737

: 00:28:19

on the laptop, a little bit of attention.

738

: 00:28:20

Right.

739

: 00:28:20

I do try to sort of segment that off

more, um, than I did in the past.

740

: 00:28:24

Tony Tidbit: I mean, but to be fair

though, too, when, when everybody was

741

: 00:28:27

going in the office, yeah, you wouldn't

be able to spend time with him at all.

742

: 00:28:31

Yeah, you would have to a hundred percent

focus on exactly what you're doing.

743

: 00:28:35

Right?

744

: 00:28:36

Yeah.

745

: 00:28:36

So now you do a little bit of both.

746

: 00:28:38

Lauren Burke: Right, right.

747

: 00:28:39

Yep.

748

: 00:28:39

So just

749

: 00:28:39

Tony Tidbit: so I'm clear here.

750

: 00:28:40

Yeah.

751

: 00:28:40

Do you, 'cause you talked about

having that big calendar, 90

752

: 00:28:43

day, 60 day, whatever it was.

753

: 00:28:44

Right.

754

: 00:28:45

Do you put all the kids stuff up?

755

: 00:28:47

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

756

: 00:28:47

Tony Tidbit: Right.

757

: 00:28:48

I gotta drop 'em here.

758

: 00:28:49

They have activities at this time.

759

: 00:28:51

I gotta do this and that.

760

: 00:28:52

And then do you set your

meetings and stuff around that?

761

: 00:28:56

Right.

762

: 00:28:56

Lauren Burke: I try.

763

: 00:28:57

Yes.

764

: 00:28:57

I absolutely try to.

765

: 00:28:58

Got it.

766

: 00:28:58

Got it.

767

: 00:28:59

You know, my husband and I just, it's

really a tag team, you know what I mean?

768

: 00:29:02

If I've got a big meeting that

has to happen at X time, you

769

: 00:29:07

know, husband's like, I got you.

770

: 00:29:08

Or, or if he's not like, I got you.

771

: 00:29:10

I'm like.

772

: 00:29:10

No, no, no.

773

: 00:29:11

You got me.

774

: 00:29:11

Got it.

775

: 00:29:12

Right.

776

: 00:29:12

Got it.

777

: 00:29:12

Got got it.

778

: 00:29:12

So, yeah.

779

: 00:29:13

Got it.

780

: 00:29:13

That's important too.

781

: 00:29:14

Tony Tidbit: Now, let's be fair now too.

782

: 00:29:15

Yeah.

783

: 00:29:15

Right.

784

: 00:29:15

There's a lot of women.

785

: 00:29:17

Um, Gail was that way, and to a

certain level, she wa she wanted

786

: 00:29:21

the kids to get to a certain age

before she went back to work.

787

: 00:29:25

But there's a lot of women that's like, I.

788

: 00:29:27

I can never be at home.

789

: 00:29:28

I need to work.

790

: 00:29:30

Right.

791

: 00:29:30

I'm not gonna stop working.

792

: 00:29:32

Yeah.

793

: 00:29:32

Right.

794

: 00:29:32

However, they still deal with

some of the same issues, right.

795

: 00:29:36

That you deal with.

796

: 00:29:37

So how sure.

797

: 00:29:38

And sometimes they may,

may feel guilty about that.

798

: 00:29:41

Yeah, totally.

799

: 00:29:41

So speak to them, talk to them how,

you know, they can still do that

800

: 00:29:45

and balance their life as well.

801

: 00:29:47

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

802

: 00:29:47

I mean, I think you have to try to

take the guilt factor out of it, right?

803

: 00:29:51

Like.

804

: 00:29:52

We're all born a certain way.

805

: 00:29:54

You know, we grew up a certain way.

806

: 00:29:55

We have certain beliefs, right?

807

: 00:29:57

For me, you know, getting a good

education, getting a, you know, a

808

: 00:30:01

good job or, you know, making a a a

worthwhile career was always a priority

809

: 00:30:07

for me, and I knew it always would be.

810

: 00:30:09

Um, and when, you know, I had,

I got married and had kids.

811

: 00:30:14

I knew that I was gonna keep working.

812

: 00:30:15

It was never an option that

I'd be a stay-at-home mom.

813

: 00:30:17

Right?

814

: 00:30:17

Which, and I felt guilt

about that at times.

815

: 00:30:19

Like, oh God, what, what kind of mom

am I like that I never even thought

816

: 00:30:23

about staying home with my beautiful

babies, you know, for, for more than

817

: 00:30:27

whatever maternity leave policies are.

818

: 00:30:29

Right?

819

: 00:30:30

Um, but now I have learned to

not, not feel guilty about it.

820

: 00:30:35

You, you do what's best for

you and your family, right?

821

: 00:30:38

You know, if you're a stay at

home mom, your, your kid is.

822

: 00:30:41

Is learning.

823

: 00:30:42

You know what a, what a great person you

are and all the value that that can be.

824

: 00:30:47

Being a stay at home mom, you're a

working mom, they're learning from

825

: 00:30:49

you the importance of work, right?

826

: 00:30:51

So your kids are always

learning something from you.

827

: 00:30:53

Give yourself grace.

828

: 00:30:56

Tony Tidbit: Yeah.

829

: 00:30:56

So thanks for that.

830

: 00:30:56

And I think the other thing I.

831

: 00:30:58

You know, you know, we now live in a

world where two parents have to work.

832

: 00:31:06

Lauren Burke: Yeah,

833

: 00:31:06

Tony Tidbit: right.

834

: 00:31:07

For to, to create a stable

fam lifestyle for a family.

835

: 00:31:11

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

836

: 00:31:11

That's so true.

837

: 00:31:11

Tony Tidbit: Right?

838

: 00:31:12

I mean, it would be great if

everybody or one person can

839

: 00:31:15

stay home and the other one.

840

: 00:31:16

But things are expensive.

841

: 00:31:18

It costs money now.

842

: 00:31:19

Yeah.

843

: 00:31:19

For kids to do any, you know, when I

was a kid, you go outside and play.

844

: 00:31:22

That was free right now.

845

: 00:31:25

Free.

846

: 00:31:25

It costs money, nothing is free.

847

: 00:31:27

Yeah.

848

: 00:31:27

You sign 'em up for this, you

sign 'em up, you're talking

849

: 00:31:29

hundreds and thousands of dollars.

850

: 00:31:31

Right?

851

: 00:31:32

Yeah.

852

: 00:31:32

Um, and then even, you know, uh,

daycare, you know, I remember me

853

: 00:31:36

and Gail got into it, um, when, um,

she wanted the girls first it was

854

: 00:31:42

Mikayla, but then they both ended up.

855

: 00:31:43

Going, there was this, uh, uh, daycare

that was, I mean, it was insane.

856

: 00:31:50

The amount of money, right?

857

: 00:31:51

Yeah.

858

: 00:31:51

And she was like, oh, I want them to go.

859

: 00:31:53

We got into a big fight and

I'm like, wait a minute.

860

: 00:31:55

Stop.

861

: 00:31:56

Because I was like, I didn't grow

up with that type of daycare.

862

: 00:31:58

Sure.

863

: 00:31:59

Right.

864

: 00:31:59

And, and, and I remember telling her, I

was like, look, I just wanna be clear.

865

: 00:32:02

I think it was like.

866

: 00:32:03

It was $30,000.

867

: 00:32:05

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

868

: 00:32:06

Okay.

869

: 00:32:06

Tony Tidbit: Right.

870

: 00:32:07

Think about that.

871

: 00:32:07

That's, that's wild.

872

: 00:32:09

Yeah.

873

: 00:32:09

To go to a daycare, right?

874

: 00:32:10

Yeah.

875

: 00:32:10

So I'm sitting here and I look, I,

I'm being practical, right, right.

876

: 00:32:15

As a husband.

877

: 00:32:15

Yeah.

878

: 00:32:16

I'm like, wait a minute,

just so I'm clear here.

879

: 00:32:18

Yeah.

880

: 00:32:18

Right.

881

: 00:32:19

I don't, reme I have not met anyone.

882

: 00:32:21

Right.

883

: 00:32:22

Nobody and friends or colleagues,

whatever said, you know what, man?

884

: 00:32:27

I would've really made it in life

had I gone to a better daycare.

885

: 00:32:30

Yeah,

886

: 00:32:30

Lauren Burke: that's so true.

887

: 00:32:32

Yeah.

888

: 00:32:32

A hundred percent.

889

: 00:32:33

Yeah.

890

: 00:32:33

Daycare, who remembers that, right?

891

: 00:32:35

Right.

892

: 00:32:36

Zero.

893

: 00:32:36

Do you remember kindergarten?

894

: 00:32:37

No.

895

: 00:32:38

No, no.

896

: 00:32:39

Right.

897

: 00:32:39

So, but

898

: 00:32:40

Tony Tidbit: I lost the battle.

899

: 00:32:41

Sure.

900

: 00:32:42

Lauren Burke: Sometimes we play

the mom card and we play it.

901

: 00:32:44

Well, I

902

: 00:32:44

Tony Tidbit: lost the battle and so two

kids, 'cause they're a year apart, right?

903

: 00:32:48

Yeah.

904

: 00:32:48

They both went and I remember, yeah.

905

: 00:32:50

The first time I was there was meeting

some of my, who are now our best friends.

906

: 00:32:54

Yeah.

907

: 00:32:54

Because that's how we

met a lot of our friends.

908

: 00:32:56

Right.

909

: 00:32:56

And I remember I was looking

at them and I was like.

910

: 00:33:01

Can they afford this?

911

: 00:33:02

I was just like, how is

everyone affording this?

912

: 00:33:04

How can you afford?

913

: 00:33:04

And then it was funny, we finally

came together and we had a

914

: 00:33:07

little party, and it was funny.

915

: 00:33:08

They were like, we were

doing the same thing.

916

: 00:33:11

Yeah.

917

: 00:33:11

We're looking at everybody, like,

everyone must be rich except me.

918

: 00:33:13

They must be rich.

919

: 00:33:14

Yeah.

920

: 00:33:14

How can they afford this?

921

: 00:33:15

Right?

922

: 00:33:16

Yep.

923

: 00:33:16

So, so back to that point though, right.

924

: 00:33:19

You know, some people

are wired differently.

925

: 00:33:21

Yeah.

926

: 00:33:21

I totally get it.

927

: 00:33:22

But it's just, it costs a lot of

money to bring your, to have a family.

928

: 00:33:25

Sure.

929

: 00:33:26

Right.

930

: 00:33:26

Yeah.

931

: 00:33:26

So you're gonna have to work.

932

: 00:33:28

All right.

933

: 00:33:29

Yeah.

934

: 00:33:29

Now.

935

: 00:33:29

Yep.

936

: 00:33:29

And, and everybody's wired

differently, so I totally get it.

937

: 00:33:32

Sure.

938

: 00:33:32

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

939

: 00:33:33

Tony Tidbit: Talk a little bit

about how the companies Yeah.

940

: 00:33:35

Can support Yep.

941

: 00:33:37

You know, working moms, because I,

and again, just being honest here,

942

: 00:33:42

you know, and I had, I have a wife

that was working and bringing up our

943

: 00:33:45

kids, but I had women on my team.

944

: 00:33:47

Sure.

945

: 00:33:48

I never said nothing to 'em.

946

: 00:33:49

Right, right.

947

: 00:33:50

Yeah.

948

: 00:33:50

But you know, they like,

oh, I gotta do this.

949

: 00:33:52

Or part of me was like, what?

950

: 00:33:53

Right.

951

: 00:33:53

Yeah.

952

: 00:33:54

And because I wasn't

cognizant of the fact Sure.

953

: 00:33:57

Uh, all the things that

women have to do, right.

954

: 00:34:00

With their kids, their husband Yeah.

955

: 00:34:03

And work.

956

: 00:34:04

Right.

957

: 00:34:04

Totally.

958

: 00:34:04

Yeah.

959

: 00:34:04

So I had to, I woke up, I told

you after I had that conversation

960

: 00:34:07

with Gil, it was just, yeah.

961

: 00:34:07

It made me so more empathetic.

962

: 00:34:10

Yeah.

963

: 00:34:10

And so more understanding.

964

: 00:34:12

Right.

965

: 00:34:12

Okay.

966

: 00:34:13

However, a lot of companies aren't.

967

: 00:34:16

Yeah.

968

: 00:34:16

That's supportive, right?

969

: 00:34:18

Yeah, totally.

970

: 00:34:18

It is changing, but talk about

how they can make people like you

971

: 00:34:22

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

972

: 00:34:23

Tony Tidbit: Not feel stressed out.

973

: 00:34:24

Totally feel supported.

974

: 00:34:25

Yeah.

975

: 00:34:25

And still be able to thrive

at that organization.

976

: 00:34:29

Lauren Burke: Totally.

977

: 00:34:29

And you know, the first thing

I would say is that, you know,

978

: 00:34:32

you hire somebody, right?

979

: 00:34:34

Get to know them personally.

980

: 00:34:35

Like maybe don't ask them

in the interview process.

981

: 00:34:37

Right.

982

: 00:34:38

But when someone's on board,

hey, you know, what kind of

983

: 00:34:40

personal obligations do you have?

984

: 00:34:42

Because everybody has a personal

obligation, whether it's a kid, a

985

: 00:34:46

pet, you know, an aging parent, right?

986

: 00:34:48

We all have other, for most, most

of us have other things going on

987

: 00:34:51

that we need to tend to, right?

988

: 00:34:52

So that way, if you understand, someone's

got a kid and they've gotta be dropped

989

: 00:34:56

off at school at eight 30 in the morning.

990

: 00:34:58

You're not scheduling a call during

that window, because I can think of

991

: 00:35:03

dozens of times where I took a call

from the road, the service is bad.

992

: 00:35:07

I'm trying to get my kid out of the car.

993

: 00:35:09

I'm trying to participate in the call.

994

: 00:35:10

That is so unbelievably stressful.

995

: 00:35:12

Right?

996

: 00:35:13

Right.

997

: 00:35:13

So ask people what their obligations are.

998

: 00:35:16

Be flexible and trust them.

999

: 00:35:19

Trust them.

: 1000

00:35:19,540 --> 00:35:20,950

You hired them for a reason.

: 1001

00:35:21,250 --> 00:35:22,300

You know, they're.

: 1002

00:35:22,785 --> 00:35:23,685

Until proven guilty.

: 1003

00:35:23,685 --> 00:35:23,865

Right.

: 1004

00:35:23,865 --> 00:35:25,755

If somebody breaks your

trust, fair enough.

: 1005

00:35:25,755 --> 00:35:25,995

Right.

: 1006

00:35:25,995 --> 00:35:29,055

But until then, give them the trust

that they will get the job done and they

: 1007

00:35:29,055 --> 00:35:31,365

will be available to get it done right.

: 1008

00:35:31,695 --> 00:35:34,275

Um, I would say resources as well.

: 1009

00:35:34,275 --> 00:35:38,475

So whether it's, um, an employee

resource group, uh, a parent Slack

: 1010

00:35:38,475 --> 00:35:43,005

channel, like make it known that it's

okay to be a working parent here, right?

: 1011

00:35:43,005 --> 00:35:45,375

It's okay to have

obligations outside of work.

: 1012

00:35:45,375 --> 00:35:46,215

We know that.

: 1013

00:35:46,814 --> 00:35:48,464

Work is only one part of you.

: 1014

00:35:48,464 --> 00:35:51,854

And it's okay to say that

without fear of repercussions.

: 1015

00:35:51,915 --> 00:35:54,765

Um, which I don't know that

that's, that's the case.

: 1016

00:35:54,765 --> 00:35:56,805

I feel like for a lot of people it's

like, oh, I better not talk about

: 1017

00:35:56,805 --> 00:35:59,984

my kid or not talk about my husband

or my aging mom or else they're

: 1018

00:35:59,984 --> 00:36:00,944

gonna think I'm not committed.

: 1019

00:36:01,004 --> 00:36:01,484

Mm-hmm.

: 1020

00:36:01,484 --> 00:36:02,595

A hundred percent not the case.

: 1021

00:36:02,685 --> 00:36:02,924

Mm-hmm.

: 1022

00:36:02,924 --> 00:36:03,044

Um.

: 1023

00:36:03,705 --> 00:36:05,925

And I would say policies is a huge one.

: 1024

00:36:06,315 --> 00:36:11,625

Um, in the US I think we all know we are

behind most, you know, established nations

: 1025

00:36:11,625 --> 00:36:13,425

in terms of maternity leave policies.

: 1026

00:36:13,545 --> 00:36:13,635

Mm-hmm.

: 1027

00:36:13,965 --> 00:36:16,935

Just look at our friends in Europe,

you know, my sisters-in-law from

: 1028

00:36:16,935 --> 00:36:20,595

Ireland, they, they both took over a

year off each with their kids, right?

: 1029

00:36:20,685 --> 00:36:20,775

Mm-hmm.

: 1030

00:36:21,015 --> 00:36:21,915

So, um.

: 1031

00:36:22,615 --> 00:36:27,024

Companies, if you're not providing

paid, you know, maternal leave,

: 1032

00:36:27,355 --> 00:36:29,125

you are, you're behind, right?

: 1033

00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:29,544

Mm-hmm.

: 1034

00:36:29,785 --> 00:36:30,774

You need to, you need to get with it.

: 1035

00:36:31,075 --> 00:36:34,435

Luckily in tech, um, I feel like

companies are a little bit ahead

: 1036

00:36:34,435 --> 00:36:37,944

of the game with that and provide

nice paternity policies as well.

: 1037

00:36:38,365 --> 00:36:38,484

Mm-hmm.

: 1038

00:36:38,795 --> 00:36:41,855

You know, we have definitely made

progress, but there's still so

: 1039

00:36:41,855 --> 00:36:44,345

much that can be done to help

working parents on that front.

: 1040

00:36:44,585 --> 00:36:44,795

Tony Tidbit: Yeah.

: 1041

00:36:44,795 --> 00:36:45,665

There's no question.

: 1042

00:36:45,665 --> 00:36:49,745

And, and thanks for the, the, the,

uh, last part too in terms of some

: 1043

00:36:49,745 --> 00:36:52,955

of the, um, support mechanisms Yeah.

: 1044

00:36:52,955 --> 00:36:54,965

That, that companies have instituted.

: 1045

00:36:55,025 --> 00:36:55,085

Yeah.

: 1046

00:36:55,115 --> 00:37:01,115

However, I will say the one that's the

most important is really recognizing.

: 1047

00:37:01,270 --> 00:37:03,250

Uh, really educating the managers.

: 1048

00:37:03,339 --> 00:37:03,491

Yeah, totally.

: 1049

00:37:03,495 --> 00:37:06,819

Because you can have,

you know, paternity Yeah.

: 1050

00:37:06,819 --> 00:37:09,819

But if the manager is making

you feel stressed out.

: 1051

00:37:10,029 --> 00:37:10,480

Totally.

: 1052

00:37:10,524 --> 00:37:10,785

All right.

: 1053

00:37:10,785 --> 00:37:10,944

Yeah.

: 1054

00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:13,120

All that other stuff doesn't

matter 'cause you'll feel

: 1055

00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,100

guilty even talking about that.

: 1056

00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:15,460

Right.

: 1057

00:37:15,460 --> 00:37:15,700

Yeah.

: 1058

00:37:15,759 --> 00:37:18,370

So, you know, one of the

things that I incorporated.

: 1059

00:37:18,420 --> 00:37:22,590

Once, you know, I really realize

is that family comes first.

: 1060

00:37:22,650 --> 00:37:22,830

Yeah.

: 1061

00:37:22,855 --> 00:37:23,145

Okay.

: 1062

00:37:23,145 --> 00:37:23,305

Yeah.

: 1063

00:37:23,370 --> 00:37:26,370

Just because we hire you doesn't mean

that, you know, family's supposed

: 1064

00:37:26,370 --> 00:37:27,840

to take a back burner, right?

: 1065

00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:28,050

Yeah.

: 1066

00:37:28,050 --> 00:37:31,080

You have kids, you have

a wife, you have health.

: 1067

00:37:31,650 --> 00:37:32,670

That comes first.

: 1068

00:37:32,670 --> 00:37:32,910

Right?

: 1069

00:37:32,910 --> 00:37:32,970

Yeah.

: 1070

00:37:32,970 --> 00:37:35,490

And then going back to what you

said earlier, I think is really the

: 1071

00:37:35,490 --> 00:37:40,560

key is that if I'm hiring somebody

to do a role, I I'm trusting them.

: 1072

00:37:40,650 --> 00:37:40,890

Yeah.

: 1073

00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,050

So I don't need to be a micromanager.

: 1074

00:37:43,050 --> 00:37:43,230

Totally.

: 1075

00:37:43,230 --> 00:37:46,740

I don't need to know if somebody says,

Hey, I can't make it tomorrow because

: 1076

00:37:46,740 --> 00:37:49,560

I gotta do this, or I gotta leave

early 'cause I gotta pick up my kid.

: 1077

00:37:49,710 --> 00:37:51,540

It shouldn't even be a second thought.

: 1078

00:37:51,570 --> 00:37:51,750

Yeah.

: 1079

00:37:51,780 --> 00:37:55,470

Because at the end of the day, all I

care about, I, more importantly, I care

: 1080

00:37:55,470 --> 00:37:57,270

about the individual and their family.

: 1081

00:37:57,330 --> 00:37:57,420

Sure.

: 1082

00:37:57,420 --> 00:37:57,480

Yeah.

: 1083

00:37:57,540 --> 00:38:00,570

But at the end of the day, as

long as you do or get your work.

: 1084

00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:00,890

Done.

: 1085

00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:01,040

Yeah.

: 1086

00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,390

That's all that matters, right?

: 1087

00:38:02,390 --> 00:38:02,391

Totally.

: 1088

00:38:02,395 --> 00:38:02,600

Yeah.

: 1089

00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:06,290

And so we need to, and, and I'm saying

this from a male standpoint, and

: 1090

00:38:06,290 --> 00:38:10,279

to be fair, there's even some women

that, you know, that are in leadership

: 1091

00:38:10,279 --> 00:38:14,480

positions that can be a little, you

know, like the queen bee type syndrome.

: 1092

00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:14,720

Totally.

: 1093

00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:14,779

Yeah.

: 1094

00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:15,140

Right.

: 1095

00:38:15,140 --> 00:38:16,340

That way you gotta pick up your kid.

: 1096

00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:16,910

You kidding me?

: 1097

00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:17,090

Yeah.

: 1098

00:38:17,090 --> 00:38:19,430

You know, you gotta, you know,

you this gotta come first.

: 1099

00:38:19,430 --> 00:38:20,779

And that and, and to me.

: 1100

00:38:20,865 --> 00:38:22,214

We gotta get outta that mindset.

: 1101

00:38:22,245 --> 00:38:22,455

Sure.

: 1102

00:38:22,484 --> 00:38:22,694

Right.

: 1103

00:38:22,694 --> 00:38:24,044

If you hired the right person.

: 1104

00:38:24,075 --> 00:38:24,225

Yeah.

: 1105

00:38:24,285 --> 00:38:27,765

If you vetted them, then that

means I trust this individual.

: 1106

00:38:27,765 --> 00:38:27,825

Yeah.

: 1107

00:38:27,944 --> 00:38:29,504

I'm empowering this individual.

: 1108

00:38:29,595 --> 00:38:29,654

Yeah.

: 1109

00:38:29,865 --> 00:38:31,484

To do what we need them to do.

: 1110

00:38:31,515 --> 00:38:31,665

Right.

: 1111

00:38:31,665 --> 00:38:33,435

And at the end of the

day, they have a family.

: 1112

00:38:33,435 --> 00:38:33,615

Yes.

: 1113

00:38:33,615 --> 00:38:34,424

I have a family.

: 1114

00:38:34,424 --> 00:38:34,484

Yeah.

: 1115

00:38:34,754 --> 00:38:35,174

Right.

: 1116

00:38:35,205 --> 00:38:36,975

So I want the same courtesy.

: 1117

00:38:36,975 --> 00:38:39,134

I would want the same

courtesy that they would want.

: 1118

00:38:39,314 --> 00:38:39,495

Right.

: 1119

00:38:39,495 --> 00:38:39,794

Totally.

: 1120

00:38:39,825 --> 00:38:41,115

So I'm gonna give them that courtesy.

: 1121

00:38:41,115 --> 00:38:41,205

But

: 1122

00:38:41,205 --> 00:38:43,214

Lauren Burke: even if you don't

have, even if you're single, right.

: 1123

00:38:43,214 --> 00:38:44,294

And you don't have kids like.

: 1124

00:38:45,060 --> 00:38:47,580

You know, you have, you will

have other obligations, right?

: 1125

00:38:47,580 --> 00:38:49,470

And let, let them be who they are.

: 1126

00:38:49,530 --> 00:38:53,070

Um, and I feel a com, like a common

misconception and maybe, hopefully less

: 1127

00:38:53,070 --> 00:38:56,009

common, is that, you know, if they're

a mother, you know, they, they're not

: 1128

00:38:56,009 --> 00:38:57,810

gonna be able to cut the mustard like I.

: 1129

00:38:58,725 --> 00:39:00,045

Tony Tidbit: So I've been around places.

: 1130

00:39:00,075 --> 00:39:01,395

That was the mindset, right?

: 1131

00:39:01,395 --> 00:39:01,455

Yeah.

: 1132

00:39:01,605 --> 00:39:04,125

Well, she, you know, she cares

more about a family first than

: 1133

00:39:04,125 --> 00:39:05,444

really about this job, right?

: 1134

00:39:05,475 --> 00:39:05,625

Yeah.

: 1135

00:39:05,685 --> 00:39:10,815

And it's not, again, these are things that

they're not said a hundred percent Right.

: 1136

00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:11,924

To be fair, implied

: 1137

00:39:11,924 --> 00:39:13,095

Lauren Burke: maybe to be they're implied.

: 1138

00:39:13,095 --> 00:39:13,694

But I I,

: 1139

00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:16,575

Tony Tidbit: I'd be honest with you, back

in the nineties, I've been accompanied

: 1140

00:39:16,634 --> 00:39:18,765

that the person was said that it was said.

: 1141

00:39:18,825 --> 00:39:19,125

Yeah.

: 1142

00:39:19,154 --> 00:39:19,365

Right.

: 1143

00:39:19,365 --> 00:39:19,605

Totally.

: 1144

00:39:19,605 --> 00:39:20,444

And so now.

: 1145

00:39:20,729 --> 00:39:22,859

That person, no matter how talented Yeah.

: 1146

00:39:22,919 --> 00:39:26,700

No matter how qualified, no

matter all the things that she

: 1147

00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:29,129

brings, she is, doesn't even know.

: 1148

00:39:29,189 --> 00:39:32,279

And she, to your point, working

her butt off, stressed out.

: 1149

00:39:32,490 --> 00:39:34,529

But she's being held back.

: 1150

00:39:34,649 --> 00:39:34,950

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

: 1151

00:39:35,189 --> 00:39:35,549

Tony Tidbit: Right.

: 1152

00:39:35,549 --> 00:39:36,600

And she don't even know.

: 1153

00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:37,015

She, she doesn't even know it.

: 1154

00:39:37,020 --> 00:39:37,030

Yeah.

: 1155

00:39:37,319 --> 00:39:38,160

Don't even know.

: 1156

00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,254

Because she's working twice as hard.

: 1157

00:39:39,254 --> 00:39:40,680

She boss, the manager is saying.

: 1158

00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:42,360

She just care more about her family.

: 1159

00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,460

So when opportunities come up Yeah.

: 1160

00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,110

They're gonna like omit her.

: 1161

00:39:46,115 --> 00:39:46,305

Yeah.

: 1162

00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,745

Because they're like, we can't

give this to her because a hundred

: 1163

00:39:48,745 --> 00:39:51,120

percent, she ain't not gonna be a

hundred percent committed to the role.

: 1164

00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:51,210

Right.

: 1165

00:39:51,210 --> 00:39:53,400

She's gotta take care of it's, even though

she probably knock it outta the park.

: 1166

00:39:53,730 --> 00:39:54,030

Yeah.

: 1167

00:39:54,030 --> 00:39:57,420

So those things matter and we

gotta break that cycle and break

: 1168

00:39:57,420 --> 00:39:59,100

that mind, mind, that, mind, mind.

: 1169

00:39:59,100 --> 00:40:01,170

Lauren Burke: I mean, I think

if you have a, a woman you know,

: 1170

00:40:01,170 --> 00:40:03,000

with a task that she believes in.

: 1171

00:40:03,325 --> 00:40:04,345

She will go to town

: 1172

00:40:04,555 --> 00:40:05,515

ADDRA Labs Promo: if

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: 1173

00:40:05,515 --> 00:40:07,855

And wanna join us on this

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: 1174

00:40:07,855 --> 00:40:09,384

conversations comfortable.

: 1175

00:40:09,595 --> 00:40:12,415

Please subscribe to A Black

Executive Perspective Podcast on

: 1176

00:40:12,415 --> 00:40:16,404

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: 1177

00:40:16,734 --> 00:40:19,825

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: 1178

00:40:19,825 --> 00:40:21,355

inspire and lead the change.

: 1179

00:40:22,245 --> 00:40:23,805

Lauren Burke: Many women

love having a career.

: 1180

00:40:24,105 --> 00:40:26,385

So let her own it, let her thrive in it.

: 1181

00:40:26,595 --> 00:40:29,265

If they're raising their hand

and saying, I can do this, you

: 1182

00:40:29,265 --> 00:40:31,035

best believe they're gonna do it.

: 1183

00:40:31,065 --> 00:40:31,665

You know what I mean?

: 1184

00:40:31,665 --> 00:40:31,890

There's the question.

: 1185

00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:32,610

There's the question.

: 1186

00:40:32,610 --> 00:40:36,045

So, um, I think, you know, trust who

you're hiring, you know, you may need

: 1187

00:40:36,045 --> 00:40:40,455

to be flexible here or there when

curve balls come up as they do, right?

: 1188

00:40:40,455 --> 00:40:40,875

So.

: 1189

00:40:41,245 --> 00:40:44,785

You know, one came up for me this this

week and luckily, you know, I could

: 1190

00:40:44,785 --> 00:40:47,845

work my schedule around it, but when

your kid gets hit in the eye with

: 1191

00:40:47,845 --> 00:40:51,745

the flying shoe during recess and

they're bleeding, you have to drop

: 1192

00:40:51,745 --> 00:40:52,885

what you're doing and go get your kid.

: 1193

00:40:52,885 --> 00:40:54,745

That's happened with, to me, this, this.

: 1194

00:40:55,050 --> 00:40:57,240

This week and you can't

plan for things like that.

: 1195

00:40:57,240 --> 00:40:59,760

So I think give your employees grace.

: 1196

00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:03,390

Don't overlook women because we

have backup plans for backup plans.

: 1197

00:41:03,390 --> 00:41:06,870

If we can't be there, we will find

somebody that's gonna fill that gap.

: 1198

00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,300

Tony Tidbit: Well, here's the

thing, and just trying to be fair.

: 1199

00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:09,360

Yeah.

: 1200

00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:10,260

And thank you for that.

: 1201

00:41:10,530 --> 00:41:10,950

Right.

: 1202

00:41:10,950 --> 00:41:15,000

Things are still, can be, um, better.

: 1203

00:41:16,185 --> 00:41:21,225

However, going back to when your

mother was working, it's night and day.

: 1204

00:41:21,405 --> 00:41:21,765

Lauren Burke: Totally.

: 1205

00:41:21,765 --> 00:41:22,335

Okay.

: 1206

00:41:22,335 --> 00:41:22,425

Yep.

: 1207

00:41:22,485 --> 00:41:23,325

And so

: 1208

00:41:23,655 --> 00:41:26,925

Tony Tidbit: we gotta give some some

credit in terms of, there have been

: 1209

00:41:26,925 --> 00:41:28,575

some, you know, things have evolved.

: 1210

00:41:28,575 --> 00:41:31,035

There have been some

progression in these areas.

: 1211

00:41:31,035 --> 00:41:32,895

It's not a hundred percent yet, right?

: 1212

00:41:32,895 --> 00:41:34,605

It's not where it needs to be.

: 1213

00:41:34,635 --> 00:41:34,905

Yeah.

: 1214

00:41:34,935 --> 00:41:35,355

But.

: 1215

00:41:35,835 --> 00:41:39,015

I remember when I first came into

corporate America, I was afraid to

: 1216

00:41:39,015 --> 00:41:40,305

say, I need to go to the doctor.

: 1217

00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:41,175

Right.

: 1218

00:41:41,175 --> 00:41:41,330

Hundred percent.

: 1219

00:41:41,350 --> 00:41:43,905

And I, so it didn't even

matter about the gender thing.

: 1220

00:41:43,905 --> 00:41:43,995

Sure.

: 1221

00:41:43,995 --> 00:41:44,145

Yeah.

: 1222

00:41:44,265 --> 00:41:46,635

It was just, they ruled with iron fists.

: 1223

00:41:46,665 --> 00:41:46,995

Totally.

: 1224

00:41:46,995 --> 00:41:50,235

And if you were a minute late,

you know, that could be your job.

: 1225

00:41:50,385 --> 00:41:50,625

Yeah.

: 1226

00:41:50,625 --> 00:41:54,765

And you couldn't, you know, don't

leave, you know you until they said you.

: 1227

00:41:54,825 --> 00:41:58,725

I've been in places where you didn't

just walk out at five, they had to

: 1228

00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:00,435

tell you Yeah, it is time to go.

: 1229

00:42:00,650 --> 00:42:00,810

Right.

: 1230

00:42:01,350 --> 00:42:02,985

Lauren Burke: So you gotta ask

: 1231

00:42:02,985 --> 00:42:03,525

Tony Tidbit: permission to.

: 1232

00:42:04,510 --> 00:42:04,840

Do anything.

: 1233

00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:05,380

Think about that.

: 1234

00:42:05,380 --> 00:42:05,470

Right?

: 1235

00:42:05,470 --> 00:42:05,830

Yeah.

: 1236

00:42:06,070 --> 00:42:06,640

It's wild.

: 1237

00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,035

So, so we have come far, let's be fair.

: 1238

00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,160

We have come far.

: 1239

00:42:09,220 --> 00:42:09,730

Totally right.

: 1240

00:42:09,730 --> 00:42:13,330

But we have to, you know, and we, we,

but we gotta complete the mission.

: 1241

00:42:13,570 --> 00:42:14,050

Right.

: 1242

00:42:14,050 --> 00:42:14,155

Come with you.

: 1243

00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,810

And we gotta make

everyone feel comfortable.

: 1244

00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:17,050

Yeah.

: 1245

00:42:17,050 --> 00:42:18,010

We have to trust them.

: 1246

00:42:18,010 --> 00:42:18,070

Yeah.

: 1247

00:42:18,340 --> 00:42:19,960

Let them know family comes first.

: 1248

00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:20,020

Yeah.

: 1249

00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:20,530

Right.

: 1250

00:42:20,530 --> 00:42:21,850

And let them do their job.

: 1251

00:42:21,850 --> 00:42:22,180

Right?

: 1252

00:42:22,210 --> 00:42:22,330

Yeah.

: 1253

00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:24,040

So final thoughts my friend.

: 1254

00:42:24,045 --> 00:42:24,155

What?

: 1255

00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,240

Do you wanna leave the audience?

: 1256

00:42:25,330 --> 00:42:25,660

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

: 1257

00:42:25,660 --> 00:42:26,740

So final thoughts?

: 1258

00:42:26,740 --> 00:42:27,220

Um.

: 1259

00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:31,950

I would say, you know, if you're

a parent, give yourself grace.

: 1260

00:42:32,190 --> 00:42:34,320

You're doing a great job, I'm sure.

: 1261

00:42:34,380 --> 00:42:38,400

Um, and even, you know, if you're a

mother, if you're a father, right,

: 1262

00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:42,990

have these conversations with

your partner, with your employer.

: 1263

00:42:43,325 --> 00:42:46,295

With yourself, frankly, and

even with your kids, right?

: 1264

00:42:46,295 --> 00:42:51,424

I keep it very real with my kids and say,

Hey, right now I have to do X for work.

: 1265

00:42:51,545 --> 00:42:52,714

You know, you got my back.

: 1266

00:42:52,714 --> 00:42:53,884

I've got yours, right?

: 1267

00:42:53,884 --> 00:42:57,335

And as they've gotten older, they

understand it and respect it more

: 1268

00:42:57,335 --> 00:43:00,245

and more, and they're actually really

excited about what I'm building, right?

: 1269

00:43:00,245 --> 00:43:01,115

They're always asking me.

: 1270

00:43:01,695 --> 00:43:03,105

Hey mommy, what are you working on?

: 1271

00:43:03,105 --> 00:43:04,575

Like, oh, you're using Canva.

: 1272

00:43:04,815 --> 00:43:06,075

I use Canva at school.

: 1273

00:43:06,075 --> 00:43:07,005

Like, that's cool too.

: 1274

00:43:07,005 --> 00:43:10,515

So, um, I feel like the more we,

again, the more we talk about these

: 1275

00:43:10,515 --> 00:43:11,985

things, the more change we make.

: 1276

00:43:11,985 --> 00:43:16,725

And at my company, um, you know, the

vision I have, once we, we continue

: 1277

00:43:16,725 --> 00:43:21,465

to grow and scale is a safe place

where people can be parents, they

: 1278

00:43:21,465 --> 00:43:25,155

can be employees, you know, they can

be gymnasts, whatever they wanna be.

: 1279

00:43:25,155 --> 00:43:25,815

That's cool.

: 1280

00:43:25,815 --> 00:43:30,585

And we will be flexible, um, you

know, to let you be fully, you.

: 1281

00:43:31,290 --> 00:43:31,980

At the end of the day.

: 1282

00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:33,450

Tony Tidbit: Well, you know what?

: 1283

00:43:33,450 --> 00:43:35,880

I appreciate you coming

on and being fully you.

: 1284

00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:36,270

Yes.

: 1285

00:43:36,270 --> 00:43:40,529

Today, um, on A Black Executive

Perspective Podcast, and really

: 1286

00:43:40,529 --> 00:43:42,450

this is a very important topic.

: 1287

00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:46,650

It's something that a lot of women

across the spectrum deal with

: 1288

00:43:46,740 --> 00:43:46,950

Lauren Burke: Yeah.

: 1289

00:43:47,009 --> 00:43:49,500

Tony Tidbit: That are probably gonna

listen and watch this episode and say,

: 1290

00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:52,650

yep, I know exactly how Lauren feels, or.

: 1291

00:43:52,730 --> 00:43:55,970

You know, uh, what Tony said

about my husband or what the,

: 1292

00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,870

what his awakening, you know, I,

my husband had that awakening,

: 1293

00:43:59,870 --> 00:44:01,250

or he hasn't had that awakening.

: 1294

00:44:01,250 --> 00:44:01,370

Right.

: 1295

00:44:01,610 --> 00:44:07,160

So we appreciate you coming on and really

putting I spotlight on this conversation.

: 1296

00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:07,310

Yeah.

: 1297

00:44:07,550 --> 00:44:10,430

Um, we love you a lot and we're

gonna have you come back on as

: 1298

00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,250

LJS continues to grow and thrive.

: 1299

00:44:13,310 --> 00:44:13,490

Thank you.

: 1300

00:44:13,550 --> 00:44:13,940

Right.

: 1301

00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:16,910

So you can talk about, you know, what

you're doing from a marketing standpoint.

: 1302

00:44:16,910 --> 00:44:17,420

Absolutely.

: 1303

00:44:17,570 --> 00:44:17,660

Yeah.

: 1304

00:44:17,660 --> 00:44:21,530

So I think it's now

time for Tony's tidbit.

: 1305

00:44:21,805 --> 00:44:28,285

So the tidbit today, motherhood career

and leadership aren't competing forces.

: 1306

00:44:28,674 --> 00:44:33,475

They are catalysts for becoming

the strongest version of yourself.

: 1307

00:44:34,075 --> 00:44:38,065

You don't have to choose

between thriving in your career

: 1308

00:44:38,424 --> 00:44:40,375

and being an engaged parent.

: 1309

00:44:41,004 --> 00:44:46,674

Both can coexist and together

they'll make you unstoppable.

: 1310

00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:54,480

And you heard a lot from the unstoppable

C-M-O-C-E-O of LJS, Lauren Burke.

: 1311

00:44:54,540 --> 00:44:58,470

So real quickly, I want to remind

everyone and make sure that you

: 1312

00:44:58,470 --> 00:45:00,540

watch this week's Need to know by Dr.

: 1313

00:45:00,540 --> 00:45:01,380

Nsenga Burton.

: 1314

00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:02,025

Dr.

: 1315

00:45:02,025 --> 00:45:03,540

Burton goes over the crucial.

: 1316

00:45:03,665 --> 00:45:08,015

Topics, things that you are not aware

of, you don't have time to keep up with

: 1317

00:45:08,075 --> 00:45:10,384

and these things that you need to know.

: 1318

00:45:10,384 --> 00:45:15,035

So check her out on A Black Executive

Perspective Podcast every Thursday,

: 1319

00:45:15,035 --> 00:45:19,445

and don't forget to be able to watch

our next Pull Up, Speak Up round table

: 1320

00:45:19,595 --> 00:45:23,645

where our round table gets together

and talk about the hot button issues.

: 1321

00:45:23,765 --> 00:45:24,785

It's unfiltered.

: 1322

00:45:24,875 --> 00:45:25,895

It's un raw.

: 1323

00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:27,930

Everyone shares their perspective.

: 1324

00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:30,900

This is not just a podcast,

it's not a mission.

: 1325

00:45:31,170 --> 00:45:32,400

It is a revolution.

: 1326

00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,490

So you definitely don't

wanna miss Pull Up, Speak Up.

: 1327

00:45:35,490 --> 00:45:39,299

That's coming out the next episode on

A Black Executive Perspective Podcast.

: 1328

00:45:39,509 --> 00:45:43,259

So now it's time for our

call to action and for those.

: 1329

00:45:43,340 --> 00:45:47,810

Who are loyal listeners and watchers of

A Black Executive Perspective Podcast,

: 1330

00:45:48,020 --> 00:45:50,030

you know exactly what we do here.

: 1331

00:45:50,090 --> 00:45:52,790

And matter of fact, you're

probably incorporating yourself.

: 1332

00:45:52,970 --> 00:45:57,650

But if this is your first time

engaging with BEP, our goal is to

: 1333

00:45:57,650 --> 00:46:00,260

eliminate all forms of discrimination.

: 1334

00:46:00,530 --> 00:46:07,850

And the way we're asking everyone to do

that is with the acronym called less LESS.

: 1335

00:46:07,970 --> 00:46:09,980

This is something in everyone's control.

: 1336

00:46:10,399 --> 00:46:11,600

Every person can do it.

: 1337

00:46:11,779 --> 00:46:15,350

No matter how old, how young,

no matter what race, no

: 1338

00:46:15,410 --> 00:46:17,660

ethnicity, it doesn't matter.

: 1339

00:46:17,930 --> 00:46:19,850

Everyone can incorporate less.

: 1340

00:46:19,850 --> 00:46:21,350

So L stands for learn.

: 1341

00:46:21,620 --> 00:46:25,279

You wanna learn about other

racial and cultural nuances

: 1342

00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,470

that you're not familiar with.

: 1343

00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,040

The more that you can learn and

enlighten yourself, the better

: 1344

00:46:31,100 --> 00:46:32,540

that you can understand people.

: 1345

00:46:32,569 --> 00:46:35,930

And then you have the letter

E, which stands for empathy.

: 1346

00:46:36,140 --> 00:46:40,730

Now, once you've learned, now you

can be more empathetic to your

: 1347

00:46:40,730 --> 00:46:44,270

friends and colleagues 'cause you

understand their points of view and

: 1348

00:46:44,270 --> 00:46:46,609

you can put yourself in their shoes.

: 1349

00:46:46,790 --> 00:46:48,230

And then after your half.

: 1350

00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:49,000

Empathy.

: 1351

00:46:49,150 --> 00:46:50,890

The first S is share.

: 1352

00:46:51,310 --> 00:46:55,570

You share what you've learned to help

enlighten other people so they can just

: 1353

00:46:55,570 --> 00:46:57,460

become just as enlightened as you did.

: 1354

00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:58,000

Right?

: 1355

00:46:58,030 --> 00:47:00,190

And then the final S is stop.

: 1356

00:47:00,580 --> 00:47:03,880

You wanna stop discrimination

as it walks in your path.

: 1357

00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:04,630

So what does that mean?

: 1358

00:47:04,810 --> 00:47:09,640

That means if you, at the Sunday dinner

table and Aunt Jenny or Uncle Joe

: 1359

00:47:09,790 --> 00:47:14,350

says something that's inappropriate,

you say, aunt Jenny, uncle Joe.

: 1360

00:47:14,625 --> 00:47:15,945

We don't believe that.

: 1361

00:47:16,095 --> 00:47:19,215

We don't say that, and

you stop it right there.

: 1362

00:47:19,395 --> 00:47:21,645

So if everyone can incorporate less.

: 1363

00:47:22,170 --> 00:47:28,170

LESS will build a fair more

understanding world and we all

: 1364

00:47:28,170 --> 00:47:33,120

will see the change that we wanna

see because less will become more.

: 1365

00:47:33,330 --> 00:47:36,390

Don't forget, you can continue to

follow A Black Executive Perspective

: 1366

00:47:36,390 --> 00:47:41,550

Podcast on YouTube, apple, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcast.

: 1367

00:47:41,910 --> 00:47:47,400

And you can follow us on our social

channels of LinkedIn, X, YouTube, TikTok,

: 1368

00:47:47,610 --> 00:47:50,320

Instagram, Facebook at ablackexec.

: 1369

00:47:50,340 --> 00:47:56,250

For our fabulous guests, Lauren

Burke, CEO of LJS Advisory.

: 1370

00:47:56,430 --> 00:47:57,870

I'm Tony Tidbit.

: 1371

00:47:57,930 --> 00:47:59,160

We talked about it.

: 1372

00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:00,600

We learned about it.

: 1373

00:48:00,690 --> 00:48:01,950

We even laughed about it.

: 1374

00:48:01,950 --> 00:48:02,490

Today.

: 1375

00:48:02,730 --> 00:48:03,720

We love you.

: 1376

00:48:03,870 --> 00:48:04,710

And guess what?

: 1377

00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:05,640

Now we're out.

: 1378

00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:12,540

BEP Narrator: A Black

Executive Perspective.